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wiki:obeseman

Obeseman

A really fat guy.

Obeseman (full name: “Obeseman Up Man”) is an extremely large human who had been wanted by several nations for exceeding their Fat Safety levels. Obeseman poses a threat to Warwickland as his excessive fatness is so powerful it is able to destroy entire skyscrapers.

Due to his excessive fatness, Obeseman has been sentenced to an eternity in space. He was not given any food or water in hopes that he will use his own body fat and become thin again, however Basi Space Operatives who have been monitoring Obeseman’s fatness for the past 70 years have not seen a decrease, in fact they believe that Obeseman has actually slightly increased in weight! Although the WSA will not disclose the whereabouts of Obeseman, it is believed that the Sun and our entire solar system actually orbits Obeseman although no proof of such a thing exists.

Early Life

Obeseman was born on the 21st of December, in the year Unknown. Not much is known about Obeseman’s childhood as he was born before the Golden Age of Technology in Basiland. Obeseman was born in Basecity General Hospital, Basecity. Despite beliefs, Obeseman was actually not obese at the time of his birth and it is believed that his real name is Perseus Altkey (not to be confused with the famous singer, “Rodrick Astley”), but he was later nicknamed “Obeseman Up Man”.

Obeseman went to Lit Splint Primary School, then to Squeaky Pop Secondary School which were both in his hometown: Hydroxia. During this time Obeseman discovered his love for food and had started eating as a hobby. Legend has it that Obeseman once ate the entire school canteen because there was not enough food. Unsurprisingly, this combined with the lack of a proper diet made Obeseman become extremely fat. (This was why the Basi Government launched a Diet Information Program where they informed Primary and Secondary school students of the importance of a healthy diet so that they do not have another Obeseman case again. Although this did work, some minor cases of obese people had still popped up.) At the end of his secondary school years, Obeseman had decided to not go to university as the creators of the famous children’s cartoon show, “Penelope Pig”, had given him a job offer to work as Penelope’s fat father, David Pig.

Obeseman was in fact the youngest person on the set, at the age of only 19, but he was also the most talented (most likely because his job revolved around acting stupid). However, Obeseman was soon fired when, on his 21st birthday, he ate an entire chocolate factory and had grown extremely fat and had destroyed the Penelope Pig set.

Later Life

As a result of his firing, Obeseman had grown increasingly depressed and hadn't searched for job opportunities for 10 more years. In an attempt to cure his depression, Obeseman had taken to eating more food and, as a result, had grown more fat. It had come to the point where even the largest mansion in Basiland could not support Obeseman, so the people of Basiland made a joint effort to deport Obeseman to the Acidic Empire (this was before the Golden Age of Warwickland, where the Acidic Empire and Basiland were still enemies) by rolling him along the Great Highway. Although the Acidic Empire is acidic and Obeseman is alkaline, his fatness had broken science and had made it impossible for him to be neutralised. Obeseman remained in the Acidic Empire for many years, mainly because he had grown so fat that it was impossible to move him (yes, he grew in size at his time in the Acidic Empire)

Sentence to Space

After Baseman and AcidWoman married and began the Golden Age of Warwickland a WSA meeting was held to see what they could do with Obeseman, as he was depleting the nation of its resources quickly. It was soon decided that the only way to deal with him is to send him into space, outside of the Universe, but still hidden from the Earthlings. Therefore construction work of a launch pad began soon after and had ended within 5 years.

A huge broadcasted event took place later that year when a rocket with Obeseman strapped to it was going to be launched into Space. Obeseman would be the first person to legally be allowed to go near the Earthlings. However, precautionary measures meant that the Earthlings never saw or knew of Obeseman’s existence. The event failed when the rocket collapsed due to the intense weight of Obeseman before take-off.

A few years later, a much stronger collection of 50,000 rockets were ready for take off with Obeseman. This time, the event went successfully and Obeseman was successfully sent to space.

Controversies

Many believed that sending Obeseman to space was just a way to kill him off and accused the WSA of manslaughter. However, the WSA assured the public they would never do such a thing and had arranged for a video call with Obeseman. Of course, they couldn't show Obeseman himself because no camera in the universe has quality high enough to capture a body larger than a universe, however the public were satisfied after hearing his fat voice which was so fat that it broke the laws of Physics and travelled through a vacuum.

wiki/obeseman.txt · Last modified: 30/09/2024 12:50 by warwick